Wherever I look...

What is bad about having an invisible wound? You can never prepare for those moments when something touches it accidentally and it hurts so bad you could cry, and 9 times out if 10 you usually do. And then you wait, and wait, and you even think that it's healed, and then BUMMM. There you have it again, the wave of pain is rushing through your body, and it's not like you can blame it on anyone. It's all your fault, you were careless, you thought it's just another decision what adults make, you think you are over it but that's a fairytale. I used to think that feelings can be controlled by mind, and it worked for a total of 6 months(approximately)(not like I counted :D)and after everyone has already told you that you are doing something wrong with your life, and you didn't listen to any of those true friends that tried to stop you, at a point you stop being stubborn.That's the point where you are usually late. I am not writing this out of self-pity. I had my time of self pity a few days ago, and then I remembered what I always heard from my parents. Learning. Instead of crying I would love to learn something. I suppose I'm the type who learns it in a hard way, my own example.

I was so afraid of regretting one decision that would have changed my life into something boring (that was my opinion) that instead of one possibly wrong decision I made 2 or 3 even worse. I was never good with choices, so it was predictable.

What makes my life suck?

Being afraid.

Of EVERYTHING.


So for the 100th time today, YOU sitting in front of your computer, stop being scared.



It's not the last time I'll cry but the last one because of this past wrong choice.Life won't stop to wait for me, and pick me up when I feel like it.


After I finish this book(http://www.libri.hu/konyv/a-piedra-folyo-partjan-ultem-es-sirtam.html) I'll be the best friend you guys ever had, that anyone ever had:)and I'll love again, and if fate has something prepared for me, I'll take it.



And now that I finished sobbing some pics from our Vienna trip with my girl Natsu:)


It was damn hot so it was like hell, except taht we got to shop all daaaayyyyy , so it was kinda okay with me.we had some adventures but thanks to true, helpful friends we made it aout alive from the JUNGLE:D
and I didn't meet my Jürgen, only a Markus I figured, that I don't need to hold on to a dream-guy in my head because I had already met amazing people during my journey on the earth and I hope I will be able to tell those friends how much they mean to me:)or even better make them feel it.

Származási hely: rina goes to college

in the beginning of the day


Származási hely: rina goes to college

^-^

Származási hely: rina goes to college

pretending I could read AND understand German :D

Származási hely: rina goes to college

zwei hübsche

Származási hely: rina goes to college

zwei hübsche 2.0

Származási hely: rina goes to college

not so hyper anymore...

Származási hely: rina goes to college

my first starbucks experience was not the way I planned, still yummy though

Származási hely: rina goes to college

end of the day " what do you want " face combined with a little "go to hell"

Rina off for today:D have a nice evening



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

LONDON, Mind the gap!!

Hello We're back from our small trip to the beautiful English capital city:) In the title I'm referring to the gap between the tube and the platform as well as the huge gap between our lovely homecountry and the above mentioned London. I made some statements but without any devices I couldn't share it with the world so, I'm doing it now:) Ready? 1. In London either you have 2 blackberries or A blackberry and an iPhone, the latter strictly used for listening to music on the tube. 2.If they ask you to leave now if you have a nervous condition, they are not kidding, LEAVE. 3. Number 2 is especially important if you are visiting the London Bridge Experience exhibition.They really mean it. 4.On the tube you fight for the seats(I know I should do that in Budapest too) and apparently when you are giving up a seat for an old lady you are to be seen as an extremely stupid person. 5.There are more tourists than locals. 6. You can differentiate them the followin...
Read more

I trust nobody

Why? One simple reason, if i take myself as an example why would i ever try to trust anyone? Anyone can lie, and I can't detect it, and anyone can tell everything I ever told him/her to someone else. As simple as that. Will I never trust ? Good, question, very very good question, namely the only question popping into my mind recently which gets me thinking for long hours. If my theory is correct, that the reason behind me not trusting anyone FULLY on this earth is me and myself only, it is very very unlikely that it will ever change into 'Rina trusting everything that moves' And let's face it that's honestly heartbreaking and pathetic at the same time. Or just smart? Can we call something smart, when it might be an intelligent choice but at the same time it is degrading our emotional intelligence. And how do we define trust? Because I am pretty sure there are levels to it. Like I can still trust someone even if I don't tell every one of my se...
Read more

dreams

Hey I love dreaming, but at the age of 21(soon) I started to notice how none, or very few of my previous plans, and dreams came true. By this time I wanted to hold my degree in my hands, have a short internship at the best, with a huge network, not to talk about my personal life. And what do I have? And it is not like I am unhappy with my life right now, but you have to admit there is always something more that you wish for at times. And the problem lies in me, I complain a lot, tried to blame it all on others, but at the end it all comes down to me, and only me.As usual. What I also noticed, that most of my plans do not have results for a very simple reason, because I tend to change them, forget them or I get scared and I choose the easier way, which also results in other yet to be fulfilled dreams. This way or the other, I thought about my five year plan recently, as I was asked by many interviewer. And I honestly think if i write it down here for the record, I might be...
Read more