If I could turn back time...
hey
Let's face, from time to time we face this feeling but for most of us, it goes away at the moment when we realise why we did not do that thing that we regret now. But some of us, who are not able to handle their lives the way it should be, well, we face these feelings every two months and it can only be covered for a few months in our minds then it pops up again, blocking our sanity, making us unable to live our lives...and to be honest it sucks. big time.
It's like our period(talking to women), it's uncomfortable although we do know when it's due, and we can easily plan everything, it's still not comfy at all.
But thanks to my tremendous amount of experience in not blocking my selfish feelings and ending up hurting the other, i finally seem to be able to hold myself back from ruining the pleasant lifestyle of a past love nterest just because of the "if could turn back time" virus commonly known as the "what if" situation. As an educated,sane person I understand how pointless these thoughts are, but as a woman(yes these two always contradict the other) I can't help it. It comes from deep down somewhere in my body and always finds its way up to my head.
and when this happens..God save any of my past loved ones(including friends I lost because I screwed up, and boyfriends whom I got scared of, even just male acquaintances with whom I exchanged glances)Because when this mechanism kicks off, it cannot be easily stopped.
And what's the worst about it? That it is sneaky, you can actually believe that it has not reached you and pat your shoulders(mentally of course)that you did well, you had stood the proof, you are a better person and the bummmm. You are not.
So you get disappointed with yourself, plus you now have to deal with the urge to write texts to, or call people that you once knew or loved, and there is no one to take your phone out of your now dangerous hands, so you grab the remote control and a beer to make them(your hands) full and watch tv programm in which there are no scenes or references to love or lost love or lovers finding each other again after 20 years or any show that involves a storyline like this:
old aunt mary meets his old high school love and remembers, but the guy (sorry the old guy) is married since soooo the lady finds magical tobacco jar that magcally helps her to turn her "what f" fantasies into reality...
If you have avoided these, and you are after the first 3 days , you are safe now. You can go near anyone.
Keep your fingers crossed for me to be able to withstand the first three days:D:D
Love , Rina
p.s Do not listen to popular music(that usually is about love) because it will stay in your head for a long long time.no kidding. example:
Let's face, from time to time we face this feeling but for most of us, it goes away at the moment when we realise why we did not do that thing that we regret now. But some of us, who are not able to handle their lives the way it should be, well, we face these feelings every two months and it can only be covered for a few months in our minds then it pops up again, blocking our sanity, making us unable to live our lives...and to be honest it sucks. big time.
It's like our period(talking to women), it's uncomfortable although we do know when it's due, and we can easily plan everything, it's still not comfy at all.
But thanks to my tremendous amount of experience in not blocking my selfish feelings and ending up hurting the other, i finally seem to be able to hold myself back from ruining the pleasant lifestyle of a past love nterest just because of the "if could turn back time" virus commonly known as the "what if" situation. As an educated,sane person I understand how pointless these thoughts are, but as a woman(yes these two always contradict the other) I can't help it. It comes from deep down somewhere in my body and always finds its way up to my head.
and when this happens..God save any of my past loved ones(including friends I lost because I screwed up, and boyfriends whom I got scared of, even just male acquaintances with whom I exchanged glances)Because when this mechanism kicks off, it cannot be easily stopped.
And what's the worst about it? That it is sneaky, you can actually believe that it has not reached you and pat your shoulders(mentally of course)that you did well, you had stood the proof, you are a better person and the bummmm. You are not.
So you get disappointed with yourself, plus you now have to deal with the urge to write texts to, or call people that you once knew or loved, and there is no one to take your phone out of your now dangerous hands, so you grab the remote control and a beer to make them(your hands) full and watch tv programm in which there are no scenes or references to love or lost love or lovers finding each other again after 20 years or any show that involves a storyline like this:
old aunt mary meets his old high school love and remembers, but the guy (sorry the old guy) is married since soooo the lady finds magical tobacco jar that magcally helps her to turn her "what f" fantasies into reality...
If you have avoided these, and you are after the first 3 days , you are safe now. You can go near anyone.
Keep your fingers crossed for me to be able to withstand the first three days:D:D
Love , Rina
p.s Do not listen to popular music(that usually is about love) because it will stay in your head for a long long time.no kidding. example:
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