Maybe...

Well I do not have photographic memory, but every picture I have from yesterday's party burnt into my brain, stays with me forever, the dance, the song, the wall, the sudden urge to cry, the bathroom mirror, the face that looked at me from the mirror....these ones all stay with me , if not forever at least for a long time, i'm sure.

Thinking that I have a little pride left was overvaluating myself, but what can you actually do, when you see the most beautiful scenario that you have ever seen, all unexpected?

Run away from it?

Maybe, because if you'd like to know pretty things are not always nice things, in fact, pretty almost too beautiful people are most likely to be the ones who fool you, take your confidence and crush it to the ground. But before that happens, heaven awaits you.

:D

oh yes

so I guess in a way they compensate for your loss: few happy minutes for few years of building up your confidence again.Wait, this does not seem fair to me..hmmm it isn't:)



Neverhteless , us the weak and lost ones jump right into these kind of situations...
Ok maybe there's more to it in my case.

I needed to face a not so old accquaintance, who left a deep impression on me and maybe curiousity were the main factor in going into this.

Does not matter really, because what happened has happened.

After effects?

I often feel myself daydreaming about it even when I don't want to, or doing something totally different, I feel like talking about it every time I get a chance or even when I don't. I really don't wanna freak out my friend(s) and all, but it comes from a deeper place. Of course they can't stop reassuring me that is wasn't that perfect and that it will fade soon...

I know, honestly, I know that it's not like he is the one with capital letters but is it so wrong of me that I want this to keep going for a long time?

I know I am emotionally cracked, and I'm not good with my studies or work either, so can I just keep this feeling? without having to be drownning:)

thank you world, hope to dream about those michelle phan lips:)
Rina off

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