Not so happy happiness

Hey:)

Seems like to me that there are different kinds of happiness in our world. What gives me the pleasure not always gives the other one the same.I know I'm saying old truths again but, it's time for me to say these, again and again, to remind myself I'm still happy just not the happiness I've always wanted.
Things are rough nowadays but the only thing missing is stepping up and doing something.

I feel this, this overdose of my fears that will have to make a serious change around me, or else I'll die.Although I said around me it is rather inside of me.Soon there will be noone left for me to turn to and that's what I was waiting for.Cause if there's no one you need to step up and look for some friends or relatives or just some random guy from the most absurd place ever.

I just came back from Bulgaria and the vacation, the holiday I was supposed to enjoy was causing me great pain, the kind of pain that makes you cry everyday before going to sleep, this cry does not help easing the pain, it's just there, trying to loosen up everything inside, helping you not to blow up from the stress.

I want that holiday where I can relax but first I'm gonna have to find a way to let this out to actually deserve that holiday that happy happiness I was waiting for all along....and probably eat my breakfast before I faint...probably :)

Rina

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